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Spicy Chicken Sandwich from Carl's Jr.

Price: $.99
Rating: *** / *****

Ho...ly...shit.

When did mayonnaise stop becoming a condiment and start becoming a main ingredient? I didn't even notice how much there was until I deconstructed it.

As you can see, EVERYTHING has mayo on it. Both pieces of lettuce, the chicken, and both sides of the bun. And this isn't just a little smattering, they basically dipped the stuff in it.

I came to Carl's Jr. to sit down, eat, and listen to podcasts like most school days. Something was off, though. The cashier seemed to be messing with me. She was relatively cute and shockingly chipper, which should have tipped me off. I firmly believe the dousing of mayo was a cruel joke.

"What will you be having sir?"
"I'll have a spicy chicken...and a small...a small...(Holy shit, she's making eye contact...eye contact! I hate eye contact.)...Pepsi."
"Okay, and will that be for here or to go?"
"Uhh...do YOU come with the sandwich?"
"Excuse me?"

I usually screw things up in the end.

I feel that no person in food service should ever look more than half alive. The cashier who always looks pissed off and like he just killed a hooker ten minutes ago is my favorite...no small talk, no smiling - just the way it should be. Me, being a slob, ordered a mayonnaise sandwich for breakfast. This shouldn't be legal in the state of California, but nonetheless my school's Carl's Jr. serves all of their menu during breakfast. Besides making for interesting stomach and heart pains, it also messes up the culinary cycle. All around, this was a bad idea.


Other than the mayo, it's a good deal for under a dollar(I don't get taxed with my student ID...saving 8 cents rules!) even if the chicken is processed. It's all you can expect. It's big enough to fill you up and actually tastes like something. It's relatively flavorful, too, though probably impossible to eat without a drink considering the sodium level.

I must say that the Spicy Chicken is the last $.99 cent chicken sandwich that I can still eat since the Cajun McChicken(yes, I really did sign the petition) went off the market. It usually isn't mayo'd up this much, so I will try and give it a pass if I survive. I wish it came with more lettuce, though. I usually request extra lettuce because this stuff has enough fat and salt to effectively need a "keep out of reach of children" label on it.

Posted by Anthony Nguyen on Monday, February 05, 2007 at 12:06 AM |

Oooh, the oily shimmer coming from the mayo. Mmm...fatalicious!

Posted by Anonymous Anonymous | February 05, 2007 10:57 PM  

AWW! The flirty line with the cashier was akin to my own coquettish attempts, except my syntactic prowess is much more lacking.

^ Ahem, as you can see from above.

This may be unfair, but I haven't had a fast food sandwich since I bit into a disturbingly RIGID part of a McFish sammich four years ago. What can I say, it doesn't take much to traumatize me for life.

Posted by Anonymous Anonymous | February 06, 2007 4:18 PM  

I wonder if that thing glows in the dark.

Posted by Anonymous Anonymous | February 07, 2007 12:00 AM  

BREAKING NEWS!!!: I had another one yesterday with no mayo and it was much better.

Marvo: Fatalicious definition make them boys go loco.

Thatspookytallchick: Ah..."coquette". The other "C" word. I appreciate a girl with classical sensibilities. Sorry about the Filet'O'Fish, though...those are a mess on a bun.

Ericthecoolguy: I hear it's popular among ravers.

Posted by Blogger Anthony Nguyen | February 08, 2007 8:45 AM  

I love this site. it inspired me to make my own. woohoo!

Posted by Blogger Sir Jorge Orduna | February 09, 2007 12:42 PM  

Mayo is a win. Especially with some fatty deep fried chicken parts. Wish we had Carl's Junior here in the lovely drunken state of Pennsylvania. And the lovely drunken state of drunkenness. If there's such a word. Anyway, MAYO woohoo!

Posted by Blogger Zac Ashbaugh | February 10, 2007 10:16 PM  

dude, the spice chicken sandwich from carlos jr es gud.

Posted by Anonymous Anonymous | February 17, 2007 10:31 PM  

eww... i hate over-condimenting. remember that filet-o-fish i had? yuck.

carls. should have gotten the chicken stars. those will never steer you in the wrong direction. plus, they're star shaped! =D

xoxo

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why r u afraid of a little eye contact?? ;)

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