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Banquet "Hearty One" Turkey Dinner

Price: $1.68
Rating: *** / *****

Food for thought: doesn't it kind of look like Pac-Man when it comes out of the microwave?

I went to the local Food-4-Less and noticed some Banquet "Hearty One, No We Didn't Rip Off Hungry-Man, This Was a Simple Coincidence" Meals on sale. Seeing as they are the same weight as Hungry-Man's for about half the price, I thought I struck a gold mine. A gravy-filled, salty gold mine. Alas, my excitement might have been a bit premature.

How does this stack up to Swanson's turkey dinner?

Not particularly well, I must say. While it tasted fine, the stuffing wasn't flavorful and basically looked like unseasoned cubes of bread that were tossed in under the turkey and gravy. It looked that way because it WAS that way. Now I'm no stuffing snob, but when you don't bother to add a few measly pieces of onion, celery, or seasoning, it's a slap in my face. Mark my words, Consumer Reports: Banquet slapped me in the face!

But like tying your shoes in the middle of a crowd or having to say the word "venti" at a Starbucks, you soon get over the necessary humiliation. What I've learned from doing this blog is that you get what you pay for most of the time. I also learned this after being tricked by Matthew Lesko, but that's another rant for another blog.

The unnaturally soft and texture-free turkey was fine and there was enough of it to fill me up. It comes with 4 slices of white meat and 2 slices of dark meat. I think I learned in sociology that this is called "pervasive racism", but I may be taking it out of context here. The peas were pleasantly plump, though not particularly flavorful or exciting. I understand that the British like to mash their peas, but I already had one mashed vegetable so I opted not to try this wacky experiment. The mashed potatoes are mashed potatoes.

It's unspectacular, but it's really cheap and will fill you up. Pick some up for the days when you want lunch to tide you over for dinner, but don't have high expectations.

I am so glad I found this blog! I got a huge smile after reading these anti-gourmet posts...wonderful use of analogies, too! ;) I look forward to visiting more.

That was stuffing? I thought it was mashed potatoes that spilled over to the turkey side that couldn't get away from Pac Mac.

If I wasn't already at home sick from work, I would be now.

Oh yeah, I've seen Matthew Lesko in person, at the movies in Georgetown. He used to have a white sedan with multi-colored question marks all over it, but it seems that he's upgraded to a Scion-like van-thing in orange with black question marks.

Also, he has an entourage.

thursdaynext - thanks for the kind words, visit as often as you'd like. Or even more often than you'd like if you were so inclined.

marvo - It doesn't have certain aspects of stuffing...like texture, flavor, or vegetables. But it tries goddammit.

abi - I'm sorry that you despise gravy. Gravy has been one of the few constants in my life. And about Matthew Lesko...it's easy to see why he has an entourage when he promises people free money.

nice new pic Ace. Do you do product reviews if they are sent in? if so e-mail me blueberryjuicefan [at] yahoo dot com

is venti really that hard to say?

haha. i like the new pic. creamy supreme. lmao. good one.

xoxo

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