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Taco Bell's Cheesy Gordita Crunch

Price: $1.49
Rating: ** / *****

The commercial claims that this tex-mex amalgamation of food is crunchy, soft, and melty. I call scruples to that statement! This Cheesy Gordita Crunch was neither melty nor crunchy, though it was Gordita-y I suppose...whatever a gordita is. You would think that a taco with such an advertising push would give you a small orgasm of some sort.

The CGC is a regular taco wrapped in a gordita shell lined with unnamed cheeses both white and orange. Kind of like in this classic SNL parody, it feels unnecessary here. I was expecting a ton of hot cheese that would stretch for miles when I bit into it. What I got was a few specks that were on the bottom and had no stretchability whatsoever. The gordita itself was tasteless and doughy. The taco wilted on the way home, which is about the length of two minutes. If the taco can't stay crunchy for two minutes, what's the point? I guess Taco Bell assumes that their eaters scarf down their items by the time they reach their second light. While I have such things in the past, I do not approve of this assumption that we consumers eat our food like we're sucking air from an oxygen mask.

I did have it very late at night, so it might have been sitting around for a while. Still, I deem that Taco Bell, king of stoner food everywhere, should be able to push out a good product at night. It is completely inane and uninteresting, and this is coming from a guy with very low standards(in both women and food, though I'm not sure if that's relevant in this review).

I also had the Double Decker Taco. I'll have that review up soon.

The Cheesy Gordita Crunch is a bit of heaven itself. It's the baja sauce that makes it all worth while, though. I always ask for extra. You must try it again during a noon time rush or something- so there's a good chance to get it hot and fresh.

microwave it next time. that's what I do.

and if balk at the prospect of putting it into the microwave and no longer having a fresh taco, then I implore you to create your own taco which can stay crispy for more than 2 minutes... if such a physical impossibility can be overcome.

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